The never ending job hunt

El Retiro park in Madrid, was sitting on a bench reading a book when I looked up and loved what I saw. Definitely one of my favorite places in Madrid.

I’ve been looking for a job for a year and a half, unsuccessfully. Everyday (or almost) for the last 18 months I’ve sat in front of my computer and dedicated a few hours to searching job offers, writing cover letters and filling registration forms.

Everyday. For 18 months.

Thankfully I’m in a position where my parents have been extremely helpful, giving me the time and space to find something that truly resonates with me. I’m a PR and communication specialist, possibly one of the most coveted sectors.

What worries me greatly is that I’ve now started to think that my self worth is directly related to me having a job or not. You can see how that can have a very negative impact on my mind because it means that without a job, a purpose, I’m nothing.

Adding to that, the death of my father has turned my world upside down and most days I’m wondering who I am, what I want and now more than ever I’m aware of the importance of enjoying life to the fullest. Right now, though, I don’t feel like I am.

My mind is constantly thinking about three different things:

  • My dad is no longer here, I will not see him again.
  • I need to find a job … now!
  • The future is scary and I should, instead of embracing it, run away from it (impossible I know)

Having said that, I think it’s important to stay positive (even though impossible at times, I’m trying my best), keep trying and have faith that good things will come.

All my love,

C.

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