“Living in Paris, driving a Range Rover”

Those were the words that came to my mind when on day one in college during a welcome conference the speaker asked us to close our eyes and think about where we saw ourselves in ten years time. That was more than ten years ago.

I currently live in Barcelona, about to move to Madrid, jobless and going through one of the toughest time I’ll probably ever have to live in my entire life. I recently lost my father (he died back in November) to a heart attack, he was 66. Exactly double my age, I am now as old as he was when he had me. Our realities at 33 could not be any more different.

I feel lost. That’s how I’ve been describing my life at the moment. Lost career wise, lost emotionally, just utterly lost.

I’m writing this because I don’t know what else to do with all the emotions and thoughts that haunt me daily. My anxiety has become who I am. My fear of the unknown is at its highest and I hope that writing it down can help processing it all.

So, this is probably not going to be a happy blog, I don’t even see it as a blog, it’s not journal. This is my therapist, for now. This is who I am, what I’m going through and if you’re reading this and can relate to some or all of it, maybe we can help each others getting through it.

PS: how shallow was I? “driving a Range Rover” If I could back I would tell myself to stop thinking about such unimportant things and focus on what truly matters.

All my love,

C.